Interpersonal forgiving in close relationships
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21 citations
Cites background from "Interpersonal forgiving in close re..."
...Apologies also have been found to create empathy for the offender (McCullough et al., 1997, 1998), which helps victims re-evaluate the offence, begin to see themselves as fallible, and in turn respond more positively to the offender (Exline, Worthington, Hill, & McCullough, 2003; Takaku, 2001)....
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21 citations
20 citations
Cites background from "Interpersonal forgiving in close re..."
...Similarly, the resultant behavior is dependent on whether the offender offers an apology and pursues forgiveness (McCullough et al., 1997)....
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20 citations
Cites background from "Interpersonal forgiving in close re..."
...who have recently lost jobs, experienced (or experi encing) divorce or breakup, are dealing with substance abuse, or facing an impending death. In the other small groups (Bible studies, etc.), f ive studies each year could deal with the topic of forgiveness. In this way, every adult who attends the church, regardless of where he or she fits in the adult education programming, will e ncounter forgiveness education in one form or another. Forgiveness education will be especially s lient for certain populations, but everyone may benefit from at least some exposure to the topi c. Further, and as appropriate, if the adults are encouraged to bring their learning about forgivenes s to the children, then the theme of The Forgiving Community as being at the service of the c ildren may be realized. Such encouragement may take the form of new teachers joi ning the ranks of the Sunday school teachers, bringing instruction directly into one’s own home, and similar strategies. Last, some groups might choose to participate in a book study about forgiveness or forgiveness-related topics. One of the most promisi ng works for this purpose might be Volf’s (2006) Free of Charge: Giving and Forgiving in a Culture S tripped of Grace, which was the Archbishop of Canterbury’s choice as the official 2 006 Lenten book....
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...who have recently lost jobs, experienced (or experi encing) divorce or breakup, are dealing with substance abuse, or facing an impending death. In the other small groups (Bible studies, etc.), f ive studies each year could deal with the topic of forgiveness. In this way, every adult who attends the church, regardless of where he or she fits in the adult education programming, will e ncounter forgiveness education in one form or another. Forgiveness education will be especially s lient for certain populations, but everyone may benefit from at least some exposure to the topi c. Further, and as appropriate, if the adults are encouraged to bring their learning about forgivenes s to the children, then the theme of The Forgiving Community as being at the service of the c ildren may be realized. Such encouragement may take the form of new teachers joi ning the ranks of the Sunday school teachers, bringing instruction directly into one’s own home, and similar strategies. Last, some groups might choose to participate in a book study about forgiveness or forgiveness-related topics. One of the most promisi ng works for this purpose might be Volf’s (2006) Free of Charge: Giving and Forgiving in a Culture S tripped of Grace, which was the Archbishop of Canterbury’s choice as the official 2 006 Lenten book. 2 Many other books are available for such a group including Holeman (2004) , Shults & Sandage (2003), Kendall (2002), Stanley (2002), Tutu (1999), Smedes (1997) and Jone s (1995)....
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...Receiving Forgiveness Before an outline of the process of receiving forg iveness is presented, a few comments are in order. It is important that offenders do not attempt to “engineer” another’s forgiveness journey. At the same time, offenders are not merely passive recipients of forgiveness. Instead, they might be willing to welcome forgiveness, might ac ively seek it, and must be willing to wait until forgiveness is granted (Enright & The Human D evelopment Study Group, 1996). Enright and colleagues (1996) distinguish between an offend er deserving forgiveness and being worthy...
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...each year to cultivate a culture of forgiveness and the expectation that forgiveness is part of the congregation’s existence not only for a short perio d of time, but for life. The model targets the leadership of the congregation and every level of p r gramming, from infancy through late adulthood. It should be noted that the model outlin ed here is designed with large, multi-staffed churches in mind, but can be adapted to any size co ngregation. Although our focus for developing such a model has been the children, the curr nt model extends the focus to all age groups. Thus, this model can be adapted to accommod ate the existing needs of any given church. For example, congregations that do not have a child ren’s minister would still be able to incorporate forgiveness curricula into Sunday schoo l. The responsibility would simply lie with volunteers, rather than paid church staff. Similarl y, churches without a small group coordinator can still develop interest groups or book study gro ups that center on forgiveness. Content In the close interpersonal relationships required i n true community, one will encounter interpersonal injustices of one sort or another. Th us, although a community like the local church has great potential for good, it can also be an ent ity that causes pain. Since interpersonal transgressions often occur in community, how can a community ever survive? Jones (1995) maintains that forgiveness is necessary for communi ty to develop and maintain itself....
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References
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Additional excerpts
...Social psychologists have also addressed interpersonal forgiving from time to time (Darby & Schlenker, 1982; Gahagan & Tedeschi, 1968; Heider, 1958; Horai, Lindskold, Gahagan, & Tedeschi, 1969; Weiner, Graham, Peter, & Zmuidinas, 1991)....
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