Abstract: Reality is nevermore. Reality, or our state of being, has always been a site of contestation. Avatars are representations of us; they are digital beings emerging from our minds to populate and add a new layer of simulation to our conception of reality. Avatars now penetrate our consciousness and demand our attention. They need us, but not as much as we need them. Avatars are digital containers of identity operated by us, their initial puppeteers. They are the key cultural constituents of what French theorist Jean Baudrillard (1994) conceptualized as the hyperreal. I propose a theoretical framework that describes how avatars incorporate media as an inherent part of their nature and find a hosting body in cyborgs to navigate and spawn in media. I propose the birth of a new scion that combines avatar, medium and cyborg into a conceptual being that I call “ICEVORG.” The ICEVORG expands beyond representation into the actual physical world by means of media transgression—more specifically, by the use of the Strange Loop (Hosftadter, 1980, p. 10), as an effective soil to thrive and interrogate our ideas of reality by means of iteration, expansion, fragmentation and naturalization. The development of the framework explains how the conceptual creature spawns in the interstices between fiction and reality. The ICEVORG transgresses boundaries to reach and transcend the concepts of the avatar and cyborg in order to generate meaning and pursue relevance in contemporary society. Through qualitative analysis of two selected case studies I will introduce evidence of ICEVORGS and how they nurture the discourse 9 on the development of identity in cyberspace by becoming agents of change. Finally, in order to construct my argument, I employ autoethnography, a research methodology that allows for a more personal voice to be included as part of the research process. Autoethnography helps me explore and develop the notion of the ICEVORG in the more appropriate context of hybrid media. 10 Proem It was the end of the spring term in 2001. Emilio, my first born, was five months old. He and his mom were arriving from a trip to Los Angeles, and I picked them up at the Richmond International Airport. After not having slept for three consecutive days driving to the airport was an unforgettable adventure. I was attempting to write my first thesis project to present to my academic adviser. I intended to write a “new” theory of design in the interval of a few days, and I discovered, out of exhaustion and frustration, that failure was imminent. Nonetheless, I kept trying. One book just led to another book, which pushed me into the dark and cold abyss of failure. My family members were expected to arrive at midnight, and Red Bull was not an option in 2001, just dark, heavy coffee. So, I drank enough of it to wake up half of the East Coast. I drove in a surreal state. I think that moment must have been close to what descriptions of a drug-induced altered state of mind must feel like. I drove smoothly on the black pavement with no music or any other sound beyond what the environments around me provided. I was not blinking much, and my pupils were dilated—that I remember. I arrived at the airport and met them with a huge smile and sign that I printed on white paper. The sign bore a red heart with the outline of a man extending his arms to greet his people. We walked to the car and I explained my sleep deprivation to my wife, so she decided to drive. I sat down in the back seat behind the driver and placed my son’s car seat by my side to the right. I covered it with a blanket so the headlights of approaching cars wouldn’t wake him up. I must have fallen sleep that very instant. Sometime later, I woke up on a hospital bed and my previous reality had vanished. 11 Upon my return to what could be described as normal life I noticed that my way of thinking was different yet I could not explain how or why. It was not until I had a professional clinical psychologist test my brain and diagnose it with a condition known as Attention-deficit Hyperactivity Disorder that I found out I could become a normal person by turning myself into a conceptual cyborg. It entailed the ingestion of drugs that I conceptualized as micro-computers altering my natural state of being to improve it. To better understand what ADHD is here is a brief explanation: Attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, or ADHD, refers to a behavioral condition that has been firmly established as a psychiatric disorder that meets the criteria for the validation of psychiatric diagnoses as outlined by Robins and Guze (1970). The first published case reports of children exhibiting ADHD-like difficulties appeared in the mid-1800s. Not until the turn of the century, however, was any attempt made to view such problems scientifically [What problems? You need to describe in the first sentence what it is.]. In what is often credited as the first of such attempts, Still (1902) described a group of children whose behavior was characterized by symptoms of inattention and overactivity, which began in early childhood, persisted over time, and deviated significantly from expectations for peers of the same age (Anastopoulous & Shelton, 2001). In spite of the great amount of resources and attention given to the condition, it continues to be considered highly controversial, and is questioned by journalists, the media, politicians, and other interest groups (Buitelaar, 2008). The condition is, however, 12 accepted as such by the government and its education system. Section 504 represents federal recognition of ADHD as a condition. Its intent is to provide protection for individuals against discrimination by classifying them as persons with disabilities. Even though the term “disability” is itself constantly under the critical observation of policymakers and the general public, it is accepted as a universal means for signifying “difference.” 1 Section 504 is federal civil rights law under the Rehabilitation Act of 1973. It provides protection against discrimination for individuals with disabilities. Students in school settings fall under the civil rights protection of Section 504. Figure 1: Evidence. Composition of digital images captured after the accident to show the level of impact that the car, and my head, suffered. Photographs by Vladimir del Rosario.